fourstonesoup.com

So on Monday, I start a long-term sub job for a girl who is going out on Maternity Leave.

And, of course, I had to go shoe shopping.

Because I have two types of shoes: Cute, kill-your-feet-after-a-couple-of-hours-on-your-feet shoes and my sneakers.

After two days of looking and searching and angst-ing over How Expensive Shoes Are (I feel like one of *those* people who pick up an item, discretely flip the tag, look alarmed, sigh, put the item back and shuffle away muttering about how, back in MY day, I could find shoes for 17 dollars…), I realized that there was NO WAY I was going to find uber-stylish yet amazingly comfortable yet startlingly cheap shoes without a proper stalking of Nordstrom Rack and Marshalls stores event and I was quickly running out of time for that.  So I gave up the ghost and bought shoes.  And since I was in a frivolous, devil-may-care mood, I was PRIMED for the salesman who saw me hovering over those Sketcher Ass-Toning Shoes.  So, Looooong story short, I am now the notsoproud owner of the Latest ‘Let’s Take Advantage of Frumpy Moms’ Gimmick.

I know.  I suck.

I am not generally drawn into stuff like that but they were there and I was there and I was feeling vulnerable and had just spent two days trying on pants that made my ass look progressively whalier and whalier (again with the made up word) and my skepticism lost to my vanity.  Actually rereading that sentence, I’m not sure I wasn’t date-raped by those shoes because I said “no” but after that much pressure I relented even though we both knew I didn’t want to.

Sigh.

BUT, I got to take Maternity Pictures for my currently pregnant SIL.  And it was FUN!  And when I got finished, I called Bryan and I was speaking in all caps with multiple exclamation marks because it was SO! MUCH! FUN!  And I suddenly realized that I would REALLY LOVE to take professional pictures!  And it was kind of startling.  But, cooler heads prevailed and I realized that

a) doing that professionally requires more advanced learning than ’skimming your owner’s manual’

b) doing that professionally requires an investment in equipment (lights, meters, flash, lenses, backdrops, etc)

c) I also wanted to be a ballerina and *that* didn’t work out

d) It is SO VERY EASY! to be excited about the pictures you happened to catch when you were photographing a beautiful adult who stands still, poses perfectly without any direction and is willing to endure my schizophrenic ideas.  And she’s gorgeous.  And not all situations are That Easy.

BUT!  I had SO MUCH FUN!  And I think I got some really good shots.

FYI: Code Daffodil Color: for excessive pregnant belly and too many pictures

Mom-to-be

OMG! Can you believe we are going to have a BABY to fill these SOCKS?

Young/In love

Obviously, her name is going to be Makenna

Cute Couple

The Baby Will Be the Focus

Pink Bow on Belly

Round

Ummm…I couldn’t narrow down my favorites to two or three…

Edited: I am going to eventually get around to adding ALL of them to my fourstonesoup.com fan page on Facebook.  I think.

***My husband and I are headed to a Tacky Christmas party tonight.  We spent $30 at the Goodwill on clothes to look tacky.  Why?  Who knows.  The sad truth is we were talking, on the way home, about how we will probably actually reuse the clothes we got. We Define Tacky.  They should just call it a “Bryan and Grace Party”.

***For said Tacky Party, we are supposed to bring a tacky, white elephant gift.  My suggestion, “Put a Big Red Bow on the dog and cram her ass into a gift bag.”
Bryan, sadly, vetoed it.  I even had a title: The Dog: The gift that keeps on poo-ing.

***Speaking of the dog, our yard now resembles a pasture used to accommodate, oh, about 47 cows.  There are poo bombs everywhere.  We have relegated a pair of shoes we can both fit into as the Shit Shoes.  Oh Pipe Down, Mom, when the kids are around, they’re called the Poo Shoes.

As an aside: The Shit Shoes were formally one of my most used pair of flip flops.  Go figure. Also: I have huge feet so Bryan and I wear basically the same size.

As an aside, aside: My MIL once said that she would have figured I would be taller since my feet were SO BIG.  She actually snickered when I told her my shoe size.

As an aside, aside, aside: I hate my MIL.

(JUST KIDDING!  How can I hate anyone who watches my children Every. Single. Friday.Night through Saturday afternoon? And buys me shoes to minimize the perceived length of my feet.  Oh yeah, I’ve figured out her game.)

Annywaaay, Bryan walked outside to take the dog out to pee with some different shoes on and Malyn, our 4 year old daughter, said, “BUT DADDY, THOSE AREN’T THE POO SHOES AND THE POO WILL BE HARD TO GET OFF THE BOTTOM!”

She’s amazingly perceptive.  Either that or poo on the shoes is a fairly common occurrence around here.  I’ll let you guess.

***Related Not At All To Poo: I am very, very tired of Amazon deeply discounting the toys I have Just depackaged and Wrapped.  Very, very tired of it.  And if it weren’t for the fact that I still have a smidge more to buy, I would break up with Amazon.  But I am Tacky AND Lazy and so will continue to spit and sputter in outrage as I see the Exact Same Toy or The Toy I Didn’t Buy go on lightning sale.  See? This is why it’s Bad, Bad to plan ahead.