fourstonesoup.com

My life has been a whirlwind of crazy since I started working.

It’s a good crazy but it’s a crazy nonetheless.

I feel like from the moment my feet hit the floor, I am a rushing around, trying frantically to insure that we have clean underwear, circle shapes for Math and milk for cereal.  Okay, sometimes I end up with underwear for the kids at school and circle shapes for my kids to eat for dinner but it’s all good.  I actually remember why I like teaching.  And I also remember why it’s gut-wrenching and soul-consuming.  But NOW, instead of just seeing 17 ’students’, I see 17 Drews or Malyns.  And my heart wrenches that much more.  And I am that much more committed to doing a good job with these little lives.  AND IT’S CRAZY!  And it’s HECTIC!  And my throat hurts from talking so much.

I’ve also been pseudo-studying for a test which I am pretty sure I am going to FAIL.  It’s a competency test which technically allows someone to skip out on taking a thousand dollars worth of professional learning classes and go directly to Certified to teach a New Area.  And I signed up for it confident that it was ALL GOOD and I would EASILY find study materials and spend my extra time catching up on the latest trends in this particular area.  HA!  I think all I’ve achieved is blowing a wad of our money.  Because come Saturday, my testing skills will be put through the paces and considering it’s been er….a LOOOOOng time since I’ve actually studied anything or demonstrated competency in anything academic (or…ahem…*anything* for that matter)…I am thinking I’d might as well just sleep in and grab breakfast with Bryan.  But there’s always that statistical anomaly, right?  The one where something Cosmic Happens and the crazy kid who drools on her desk during the test (true story) ACES the test and ASTOUNDS everyone with her BRILLIANCE.  RIGHT???  RIGHT?!?

AND SPEAKING OF STATISTICAL ANOMALY…

What’re the chances that THREE women out of the five of childbearing age from my family would be expecting babies at the same time?

Why, I’d say that the chances seem to be pretty dang Good around here.

MY BABY SISTER IS PREGNANT!

Okay, she’s not a baby.  She’s a grown, college-graduated, working professional with a husband and a mortgage but she’s always gonna be MAH BAYBEEEE.  And MAH BAYBEEEE is going to be a Mother!  And that’s great!  I *tried* to tell her my theory about being a parent.  You know, the one where the IDEA of being a parent is SO MUCH BETTER than the reality.
WHaaaa?

Parenting is so much worse, better, heart-squeezy, ecstasy-inducing, agony-inducing, blood-pressure raising, maturity-forming, bittersweet with alternating emphasis on Bitter and Sweet than you can ever imagine it will be.  And Dawn is going to make a FABULOUS mother.  She should.  She has PLENTY of experience with my two little monkeys.  But we all know that there is nothing in the world like having your own.  And now she gets to experience the Mind Blowing Nature of being a parent.

And that’s all great and all but seriously,

Being an Aunt is SO MUCH BETTER!

Which is what I kept telling her and telling her BUT no one EVER listens to me.  But WHATEVS, right?  Because now *I* get be an Aunt to MY SISTER’S ACTUAL baby.  *I* get to love ‘em and leave ‘em.  *I* get to stuff them full of chocolate, throw rules out the window, let them skip naps and snuggle me on the couch while we watch forbidden TV shows.

It’s going to be fabulous.

So now, be expecting ALL BABY ALL OF THE TIME news around here because with one due in May, one due in September and one due in November, it’ll be BABY-CRAZY.  My best friend Cheyenne says that I’ve got it well-planned because I’ll have a new niece or nephew scheduled to arrive every few months…or when the “new” starts to wear off the previous baby.

{As I typed this, my daughter is in her bed, sobbing “I DON’T WANT TO GET A CAVITY” because we skipped the bedtime tooth brushing.  Now, she has NEVER had a cavity in her entire life but she’s PETRIFIED of them.  Thanks, Dental Office who visited her preschool.  *sigh* Seriously, people. BE THE GOOD AUNT!}

{Edited to add that I went in and brushed her teeth and as I left she whimpered, “But you forgot to brush my tongue.”}

In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, Drew’s teacher assigned a family project: Build a Leprechaun Trap.  We aren’t good with bake sales.  We don’t like to do yard work around the school.  We will not sit through a PTA meeting.  But we can, BY GOD, engineer and build a Leprechaun Trap.

Wood cut out in the shape of a shamrock?  ABSOLUTELY!  Like Bryan needs an excuse to break out that saw thingy.

This also required some gold.  Being a teeny bit short on spare Fort Knox Bricks, we decided to go with rocks painted with gold paint.  Note The Dog’s interest in the proceedings.

Allow the 6 year old to use SPRAY PAINT?  WHY NOT?

Laying out the design…

Again with the excuse to use the power tools.

It’s all coming together… (Christmas Pajamas, you ask?  SHUT UP!)

And HERE’S the FINAL PRODUCT!

{Engineering Details:  Let it BE NOTED that this is completely Drew’s original idea and design.  Bryan just helped make it happen and semi-realistic.}

The leprechaun shall be lured onto this platform. His weight on the platform will spring the trigger and activate the springs, which will fling him bodily into the box directly across from this rig. The capture box is all set with extra sticky tape so the leprechaun sticks to the bottom.  Because the devil is in the details, people.

The ‘trigger’ mechanism took quite some time to research and decide upon.  And yes, my husband made that…er…um…thing.  And then made another one because The Dog ate the first one.

Add a caption

Details from Drew’s original concept: This is the gold lure in the ankle snare. If the leprechaun happens to, in his greed, pick up the large gold nugget, the black rope will be pulled tight and he will be held upside down in the air thanks to a strategic counter-weight pulley system.

This is an engineer’s passion.  Redundancy.  *IF* the spring-loaded platform fails to capture the leprechaun, he will inevitably be lured by greed toward the HUGE chunks of GOLD.  Upon picking one up, a counter-weight will be released ensnaring the leprechaun by his wee ankle and suspending him neatly, upside down in the air.

And just in case THAT doesn’t work, there’s a trip wire.  Because, honestly, what good is a TRAP without a TRIP WIRE?  NO GOOD AT ALL!

Happy Boy, Happy Girl.  Now, we get to see if we have caught us a leprechaun!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Things to Note:  Husband does NOT know to buy water soluble spray paint.  WHERE HAVE I GONE WRONG, PEOPLE?  WHERE?

Bryan would like to add: Next year, for Malyn’s leprechaun project, he plans on an infrared sensor, a microcomputer-controlled, hinged capture box and a something or other and then a something else I wasn’t really paying attention to.

I would like to add: Next year, for Malyn’s leprechaun project, there had better be glitter, dammit!