fourstonesoup.com

A few random updates:

**Mom has her surgery scheduled for Monday at 2.  She’s actually going down to Florida to have the surgery (we live in Georgia).  We have family in the medical field who were able to recommend and pull strings to get her in to see a great plastic surgeon.  Of course, Mom wants them to do some extra work while they’re going at it…a tummy tuck, lipo, collagen implants in her lips, a face lift.  We’ll see if all that pans out.  As long as they hack the cancer off her lip, I’ll call it good.

**I have been All Studious and Productive lately finishing up my online course work to maintain my teaching certification.  I have one more class to go and while I find them rather boring at times, they have been somewhat educational and exceptionally easy so whatever, right?  I mean, it’s GREAT AND ALL that I’ve flushed a grand on these classes since I AM NOT CURRENTLY EMPLOYED AND THEREFORE NOT MAKING ANY MONEY.  And if I were employed, they would be totally covered through the system.  Nice.

**We broke ground, plowed, planted, seeded and watered our HUGE MONDO garden.  In years past, we have done itty-bitty gardens but we stepped it up a few notches and decided to go all out.  We shall see what happens.  Come summer, we {hopefully–doing a dance to the rain gods} will have enough fresh vegetables and fruit to persevere through the brink of apocalypse now known as the Pig Cold…er…that’s what Cheyenne called it when she took her head out of her hidey hole to blink into the light of day today.

**Did I mention that I am substitute teaching on Fridays to get my face back in front of the principals on the off-chance a position becomes available (shauugh-right)?  I can only do it on Fridays since that is the day that Bryan’s employer so kindly decided to allow him to take off unpaid.  Wheee!!  I have mostly enjoyed the few times I have subbed.  It’s an entirely different situation from regular teaching but one that I don’t despise.  In fact, it’s nice to walk away at the end of the day and know that I will never have to return to that classroom if I don’t want to.  Unless, of course, we need the money so desperately that it’s either Sub in the Classroom from Hell or prostitute myself out.  Which, now that I mention that, I’m not *really* sure what the difference is, in all honesty.  In fact, now that I think about it, I hope I would make more than the $60 a day I currently rake in for 8 hours of subbing.  AND because I am obviously in need of some psychiatric intervention, I have knowingly agreed to sub in a kindergarten classroom, three weeks before school lets out ON A FIELD TRIP because WHO has SUCKER written across her forehead (hint: ME!)?   In Comic Sans Bold font, no less.

**But all of this it bearable because I have done it, my friends.  I have ordered my Big Girl Camera.  I know!  Squee!  And it should be here VERY SOON!  Alright.  I have to stop thinking about it or I’ll get all antsy and squealy and I must be curmudgeonly for my subbing job tomorrow.  Now, off to find my duct tape and red pens.

As I am suffering through Earth’s Most Stressful Season (Spring 09), it comes as no surprise that I was dealt another blow earlier this week.

My Mom (Momma g~) has been diagnosed with Squamos Cell Cancer.

Mom is a child of the 50s…er…60s…er…70s…er…suffice it to say that the risks of prolonged sun exposure weren’t known or preached about during those days.  Was sunscreen even invented back then?  (Oh, crap, that’s like asking if Dinosaurs were around.  Mom is gonna KILL ME!)

And to make matters worse, Mom lived in Daytona Beach, Florida.  Which, I don’t know if you know this, but isn’t exactly the Bundle Up and Avoid the Sun capital of the world.

Regardless, Mom has had a growth on her lip that has come about in a slowish way but then kind of freakishly grew into a Major Deal as I understand it.  My Mom left for a small vacation less than three weeks ago and I don’t remember it being there when I saw her before she left but it was definitely noticeable when she returned.  It’s bigger than a pencil eraser but smaller than a dime.  ( I know, can I not find a better comparison.  No.  I cannot.  My brain is fried)  I happened to be the one who hounded her (it’s my official role in the family–Family Hounder) into going to the doctor about it but she didn’t really need much encouragement.  It was hurting and she wanted to know what was going on.  At first, she thought it might be a cold sore–the first she had ever had.  But it became pretty obvious pretty quickly that it was more than that.  I happened to be the one who drove her to her appointment.  They did a biopsy but I think it was kind of pro forma.  They knew it was a cancerous growth.

Now, of course, the good news is that this is the cancer to have.  We’re fortunate that it is in an area that is hard to ignore.  And the doctors think we caught it relatively early.  So she will likely just have a in-patient surgery to remove the lesion and be done with it.  I try not to read about the recurrence rates and I definitely skim over the metastatis stuff.  Best not to freak out unnecessarily.  (Breathing into paper bag, here.)

This will be easy and it will be gone and it will be done.

My Mom is a very strong, capable woman.  Or rather, she hides her fears and worries fairly well.  I know she’s anxious about it.  I know she doesn’t want everyone to know because she hates attention.  She will likely kill me for even posting this.

I refuse to think beyond the probability that this is no big deal.  I refuse.  Because to go past that is to go to a very scary place for me.  I cannot even type thoughts beyond that because it is literally too much for me to even comprehend.  So let’s not, okay?  Let’s just assume that I have written a very loving, flowery post about how much I love her.  And how much she means to me and everyone else in my family.  And it would be very beautiful and moving and say exactly what I need it to say.

This is no big deal.  This will be easy.  This will be gone.  We will be done.

It’s no big deal.