fourstonesoup.com

For those of you who do not know the whole story, here it is in summary form:

1) Upon the birth of my first child, I quit my job as a teacher because I was VERY idealistic and ridiculously naive and I was very confident I would be a great mother, stay-at-home wife and person and when the perfect moment arrived, I would fall right back into teaching with my stellar credentials and reliable contacts.

2) Eventually, we sold the starter home we had been living in (right as the economy was tanking) to live in a teeny tiny rental house on family property thinking this would allow me the opportunity to continue to stay at home with our two small-ish children and actually survive on my husband’s meager salary whilst enjoying the benefits of living next door to Bryan’s granddad, picking fruit from the trees, eating blueberries off the bushes and climbing trees in our back yard.

3) Our salary was slashed (woohoo!) for about a year as Bryan’s company tried to stay afloat.  Our children both started full-time school and I dipped a toe into the waters of employment…cautiously.  Nothing happened.  Recently, Bryan’s salary went back to it’s former meager glory.

4) Both of my kids are in full-time school and I am still unemployed.  I have dabbled in professional photography (meaning people pay me to take their pictures) and have done fairly well so far but it by NO means substantiates a large income and in it’s infancy state, my business is a lot of giving and not so much the taking (as in padding our account).  I realize that this is perfectly normal for a budding business and I am not exactly parading around drumming up customers but…

I am tired of being a one income family.

I really, really am.

I would LOVE to have some disposable income.  I would love to not worry as the bills come in.  I would love to not have to nickel and dime everything.

But there are literally NO jobs for teachers around here.  And I’m not exactly swimming with potential as an employee, am I?

My resume reads like this:

1) I am rilly,rilly smart.  Like no, seriously.  Whaa???  NO, I PROMISE!  In all of those standardized tests, I always scored in the 95%-ile.  Whaa??  Those things don’t COUNT?  IN REAL LIFE?  Shit.

2) I am quasi-creative.  I write.  Well, I string together somewhat amusing sentences using lots of dashes (because my comma usage—well, it’s questionable).  Oh, wait, no.  I don’t exactly have any experience in actual writing and this blog isn’t exactly widely read (Hello, most readers who know me in real life and live within a fifty mile radius of my house) and my view numbers are…not exponentially high.  Um…no.  I haven’t actually studied any fabled writers.  And I have no experience with writing anything but this blog.  And I have nothing very interesting to say.  But I do read a lot…of books and blogs.  That counts, right?  I’m not even going to pretend I can cook, clean or parent well.  Perhaps I can write a photojournalistic column with a snarky view on parenting.  Yeah!  That’s not a tired schtick, right?  And editors should be KNOCKING on my DOOR to edit my grammatically-nightmarish submissions

Crap.

BUT!  I do photography.  People pay me REAL CASH MONEY to take pictures and photoshop the hell out of those pictures!  I mean, sure.  The point *could* be made that I spend about five or more hours on each photoshoot and the editing.  So that puts me at the average wage of….a Target employee.  And TONS of people “do photography” on the side, as evidenced by the “like” pages of my friends on facebook.  Um…I mean…

WELL FINE!  I can paste and glue and cut like a mofo.  Seriously, I am the Queen of Glitter.  I went through an entire FOUR YEARS of COLLEGE devoted to learning how to teach kids how to glue in a developmentally-appropriate way.

But…er…those aren’t exactly skills most businesses desire?

3) I AM SNARKY, SARCASTIC and IRREVERENT!  What?  Isn’t that what EVERYONE wants in a future employee?  No?  But I’m Witty!  Where are you going?

4) Errrr…I…er…I

I am so underwhelming.

And unemployed.

And depressed now.

Crap.

We are so screwed.

Makenna (my newest niece) made her grand entrance with as much drama as we should expect from a girl-child of our unfortunate genetic make-up.  She came out with a double cord wrap, a meconium inhalation and a distinct lack of adequate oxygen level.  In fact, she was whisked pretty much immediately into the NICU where the family was warned she may have to remain for a week or more.  Mommy and Daddy didn’t even get to really hold her.  And for a while, they could only touch her but she very quickly got herself all sorted out and she was completely cleared for health and back with her parents before 24 hours had passed.

She’s gorgeous.  Of course.  I snapped a few shots before she left the hospital and am still trying to meet up with them again but exhaustion (on their part) has kept them holed up in their house.  But, this one isn’t too bad for a hospital room set up with bracelets on every limb…

It's tiring being so cute

How many chins does it take to get to the delicious neck of a newborn?  Two.

We make ‘em dramatic but they’re cute, aren’t they?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

DITHERING…

I’ve been noticeably absent as I have been working on some side projects…namely getting pictures edited and posted on my personal facebook and trying to pick, choose and edit pictures I am going to use for my photography website.  I’ve been pondering, dithering and hesitating enough.  I’ve decided that I’m going to give photography (professional ??) a try.  I have very little to lose, I already am busy doing freebie photo shoots and if I could stash a little money away for our Life List, that’ll do just fine.  I figure first I need to invest in some business cards because, honestly, it’s getting a little embarrassing scribbling my email address onto the backs of napkins and breast pad boxes (true story).  Although, I suppose wadded up napkins and ultra-absorbant pads are more my style, I think I would like to try to bump the class up a bit.  Sometimes, you’ve just got to bail water even though you know it’s pointless, right?  I also am going to do whatever I need to do to license my photography business.  Last, I am going to try to step out of my comfort zone and start actually thinking about promotion and pricing.  I think those are the two areas which have held me back.  I cannot fathom how to price my photography.  How much for photo shoots?  What am *I* worth?  What if I SCREW UP some pictures?  And also, HOW in the name of Nikon do I get started?  I am not that great at telling people that I’m available for hire, much less explaining WHY they should choose me over the many, many other photographers out there–hence, the website, which will hopefully show my style and abilities.  And I am fighting the urge to self-deprecate about my supposed abilities right here so I am not even going to throw in a sarcastic laugh here. (har.  Damn.)

The good thing is that if I never get a paid shoot, I have only invested in website hosting and business cards.  Considering that people routinely invest their entire savings into businesses which could fail, a few hundred dollars is no biggie.  And GOD KNOWS, with the way my family is procreating, I have enough with them to keep my photography itch abated if my wallet cannot be bolstered.

So, you know, wish me luck.  That I get enough to keep me pleasantly busy.  That I can do a good job.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Update:  Cheyenne and I walked the March of Dimes in our area this past weekend and it was fun.  It was cool, drizzly (which was Geerrrrreat on my hair) and the route was interesting.  But mostly, we kept to ourselves and used the time for a very important purpose–catching up on our talk time.  With me working, we don’t get to chat as much and I, for one, have sorely missed it.  We were even discussing signing up for more 5Ks just to be able to spend some time together.  I figure we could do a 5k every couple of weeks and get some “us” time and maybe get into better shape.  But then Cheyenne suggested we just meet at IHOP and *tell* everyone we’re doing a 5k.  And I had one of those moments where I realized (yet again) that I love that girl.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The Dog:  Since we’re doing housekeeping and updating, I thought I would assure you that The Dog is still alive and not nearly as annoying and horrible as she used to be.  In fact, there are times when she’s downright cute and pleasant and quite a bit of company.  But, let me qualify that with the fact that she still sheds massive amounts of fur constantly (which is…interesting considering cleaning is not my forte), she leaves huge piles of poo in the yard, she amasses a significant amount of odor dishearteningly quickly after a bath and loves to shred her blankets, leaving soggy pieces of pink fleece all over the floor.  My lesson here: I am not a dog person.  I am EVEN LESS SO a puppy person.  But she’s bearable.  So she stays.  For now.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

In my Life List, I spoke of going to grad school.  I still want to do that BUT there has been MUCH discussion (and possibly a law in the process of passing) where you DO NOT get paid for a Master’s Degree for an area in which you are not teaching in our state.  Since the degree I was seriously considering, Instructional Technology, is not attached to any position, I would not get the pay raise (incentive) for having an advanced degree.  AND since I can’t find a job anyway, there is NO WAY I am going to put more money into a career field where I cannot find a job.  So we’re putting that on hold until this whole education conundrum gets worked out.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I think that’s it…is there anything else I failed to update?