I’ve been feeling Blicky lately. I’m not sure if that’s actually a word or not. I am assuming that it’s something that can be applied in a variety of situations and it seems to capture my indefinable feelings right now.
I am fairly certain that I have procured a 7-10 week long-term sub job. A second grade teacher, a friend-of-a-friend, is going out on maternity leave anytime now and her original sub did not work out. So it looks like I am a “go” for the job.
This means many things:
1) I have to throw a work-appropriate wardrobe together. Right now, I have two pairs of appropriate pants. Seriously. I basically wear jeans, jeans, jeans all of the time and have for the last 6 years. And when jeans were not appropriate for any given situation, well, I had two other pants options to choose between. I also have only a couple of suitable shirt options as the few I had have reached the “replace immediately” stage. So I must go shopping. And I *detest* shopping for clothes (with the exception of shoes, for which I LOVE to shop). And, let’s face it, this cuts into my profit margin (which is fairly negligible to begin with).
2) I will have to actually Deal with the General Public. And my coping skills have been greatly decreased in my hermit-ish interim at home.
3) I CANNOT miss a day of this job. IF I DO, my pay will be CUT IN HALF (from paltry to paltry divided by two) for TWO WEEKS until I have been in the same class for 10 consecutive days. So it is imperative for this to be a worthwhile endeavor, financially, for me to NOT MISS at all. Two children who have been handing strep back and forth like a hot potato competition notwithstanding. (It’s currently Malyn’s turn–round 3 of strep.)
4) I am going to have to adjust to being a teacher in someone else’s class. I am not too worried about this but it is something to feel nervous about.
5) It will represent a MAJOR change for our lifestyle for me to be working. Even though it’s a temporary thing, the fact that I will NOT be available for sick kids, last minute crisis situations or to ‘handle’ the house and child drop-off and retrieval will be a Big Change. There will be some shuffling of the children (to be determined after I speak with the principal) in the mornings and the afternoons. It’ll be just WEIRD to not drop them off and pick them up every day. Just WEIRD. And somewhat sad for me as the ONE thing I can claim without hesitation is that I have BEEN THERE without fail for my children since they were born. And I am sure that the feeling will pass as we get used to the new (if temporary) normal, but until it does, I will be pathetically sad about this. I know–the sap exudes from my pores.
Also, there is this other thing where I have had another nibble. For a different job. And while I know a nibble does not a job net, I cannot help but have a niggling thought about what would happen if I ended up two weeks into my long-term job with an actual job offer to consider. I know that I shouldn’t invite stress but it’s there. I do a good job of shoving out of my head but I am a planner and I like to think ahead and TRY to be prepared for how I will handle any given situation. And while this predicament is so far out of the range of probable, it IS something that I can think about and prepare for.
And finally, I *hate* to seem ungrateful because I Truly! Am! Excited! about this. BUT, BUT, BUT, I have been PATIENTLY awaiting the return of Spring. The Spring of BEeeeyoootiful Photographic Opportunities after the Long Dead of Dreary-Light winter. And wouldn’t you KNOW that I *finally* get a (temporary) job JUST when I was consoling my jobless self with the idea that I could spend A Goodly Portion of My Time taking pictures of gorgeous Spring flowers with my new macro lens. (UNGRATEFUL WRETCH THAT I AM!)
The consolation being, here, that this provides me a better opportunity to snag a regular job should one be available for the Fall. I will be teaching in the system and will be (more) privy to any openings (hopefully). It is NO guarantee because there are no guarantees in education any more. BUT, it’s better than shooting off random resume-attached emails to principals who do not know me out of the forty-bazillion other resume-attached email addresses.
And also, I get to earn a leeeetle bit of money. AND I get to interact with adults on a daily basis! And I get to let loose my Teachery Side which, I am sure you are surprised to know, actually resides in my head in the teeny-tiny space not taken up by Snark and Poor Grammar Skills.
